"Who I Am Hates Who I've Been"

Changing yourself is probably one of the most difficult things you can do. In my opinion, it is absolutely the toughest. And I don't mean just changing your style or your hair or even your interests. I mean changing your state of mind. To turn your back on your past and move ahead is... well, hard. I know it's definitely been hard for me.

However much I hate how I used to be, that old self has made me into who I am today... and I've felt okay for a while now. Actually, even more than okay-- you could even say I'm happy. Finally.

Of course life's not perfect, and I am nowhere near being perfect either. Although going back to my previous ways would be really easy at the first sign of trouble, I'm determined to leave that life in the shadows and actively work towards being a better version of myself each day.

So enough about me. Who are you, and who do you want to be?

Title inspired by the Relient K song.

"Up in Smoke."

We know it's bad for us and it whittles us away, but we can't help but go back to it time and time again. "It" can range from smoking to unhealthy relationships, but in all cases we have this strange addiction to return to our versions of normalcy. We all have our vices and terrible habits.. but is that a legitimate excuse for ourselves?

"Skin Deep."

A lot of times, I find myself uncomfortable in my own body. We live in a world where appearances matter, and as a woman especially, the concept of physical "beauty" is a shallow threshold that many of us may not feel we fit into. When I was a teenager not too long ago, I used to think that when I hit my 20's I would suddenly become extremely confident in myself and my appearance. But that's never the case, is it? I'm almost in my "mid-twenties" now, and I feel as though I'm not any closer to being comfortable with my appearance than I was when I was 15. However, my age does grant me some wisdom to know that although looks matter, it's not the ONLY thing that matters. At least I've got a killer sense of humor and decent people skills.

Dreaming.

Your demons always find a way to the surface.

The chaos of college.